The Past Love Exercise
I do believe that each man that comes into my life I learn even more about myself. The other day when I was in the shower I thought about the three men that I have loved and what about their characteristics that I was attracted to the most. This was my discovery.
(I have altered their names a bit for this post.)
Jay was the first man that I truly loved. I met him in college. I was with him for 7 years. There are many characteristics to this man that I fell in love with, but after so much time has passed, what I zero in on is that he had the most giving heart. Even compared to all the men I have ever dated. He was incredibly kind. And I know his parents had alot to do with this, because they were incredibly loving people as well. He was patient and sweet. Would do anything for me, his family and his friends. Not to say he was a wimp, he wasn’t. I remember he got into a fight once to stick up for me. I don’t necessarily agree with fighting, but it did touch me.
___
Jay was the first man that I truly loved. I met him in college. I was with him for 7 years. There are many characteristics to this man that I fell in love with, but after so much time has passed, what I zero in on is that he had the most giving heart. Even compared to all the men I have ever dated. He was incredibly kind. And I know his parents had alot to do with this, because they were incredibly loving people as well. He was patient and sweet. Would do anything for me, his family and his friends. Not to say he was a wimp, he wasn’t. I remember he got into a fight once to stick up for me. I don’t necessarily agree with fighting, but it did touch me.
___
The second man I have loved, let’s call him Erin. I met him at work. (Yes, its true…its not always good to date someone you work with…endings can be complicated.) What I loved about him was his passionate, entrepreneurial spirit. He was a dreamer, me a realist. So it was a nice combination where he pushed the boundaries of what I thought was possible to accomplish. He was creative and had an appreciation for art. A hardworking man who could build anything. I have fond memories of us working side by side rebuilding our house. (So I appreciate a man who is better with a hammer than I am!)
___
___
Now for the most recent. Brian. I met him at a house party. The minute we started talking I felt this incredible energy between us. He was an extreme extravert (something I have rarely dated). He had this energy like a “bull in a china shop”, that some may find crazy, but I found adorable. I enjoyed our conversations to all hours of the morning, talking about every intense subject. He challenged my thinking like no other man. Sexually, I felt uninhibited with him. I was open to exploring. And boy, could he cuddle! Holding onto each other like we never wanted to let go.
___
___
It’s been 13 years since I fell in love with Erin before meeting Brian. That’s alot of time! So I have grown in many ways over the years. It’s interesting to think back of when I was with a previous love and be amazed at the thought that it was me in that relationship. I am such a different person than when I dated Jay and when I was with Erin. It’s like it wasn’t me with that person but some book I read on a vacation. It is the weirdest feeling.
Jay, Erin and Brian are so different it is quite incredible. Not only in their appearance but down to the core of who they were as people. And what I have realized, after thinking about each of their characteristics I was attracted to, they really don’t share any of them at all. Brian and Erin did not have the giving heart like Jay. Jay and Brian did not have the passionate, entrepreneurial spirit like Erin. And with Erin and Jay I did not have the intense energy between us like Brian.
So what does all of this mean? I can only hope it to mean that I am learning along the way what is a good fit. I am discovering specific characteristics I am attracted to that go beyond physical appearance. As a friend posted on my Facebook page after reading my Heart Break story, “you rock Kristin…everytime you move on it gets even better ”. I hope that to be true.
It is an interesting exercise to go through. I invite all who are reading this to take some time and look back at your past loves and narrow in your favorite characteristics. I’d love to hear from you!
Комментарии
Отправить комментарий