Monogamous Relationship
Everybody knows what monogamy is. If you don’t, let me define monogamy for you. It is when someone has a sexual relationship or marriage with only one other person at a time. But with marital infidelity being so common these days, is monogamy natural?
If I have you stumped, let me get you to read this interesting article by Catherine Deveny entitled Infidelity Is Just Human. I certainly hope the link works because it may not once the item is archived by the online paper. Anyway, she gave an argument that lifelong monogamy is an unrealistic expectation conceived when human’s life expentancy is much, much shorter and was a way to maintain church and social order. And she wrote that it is equally unrealistic now to expect people to be able to find a mate for life and live happily ever after without fancying another person at some point or other in a marriage that may have lasted decades.
So, she doesn’t believe that behind every one of those 50 year marriages, there hasn’t been a stolen moment or yearning for another. That lifelong monogamy is a fluke and an unattainable goal as far fewer people than we think are actually able to achieve it.
I always find it amazing that some people can come up with very convincing arguments for their views, especially when it comes to opinions that are not so mainstream. But I also think that the writer is expressing the reality of today’s world in this case and perhaps, the article is also signalling to us that marital infidelity may be a way of life and a non-issue in the very near future.
I will leave you with a very short extract of this article, in the context of lifelong monogamy, for you to ponder:
Does anyone want to eat the same meal every night for 40 years? Wear the same shoes every day? Is it possible? Is it healthy?
I ’m curious if you or your readers have any advice for dating again after betrayal. My last relationship was two years ago which ended by being suddenly dumped and then finding out he’d been cheating on me for a month or two prior. I gave myself time to heal from the experience and have tried a bit of online dating in the past year. Although nothing substantial has resulted, I’ve noticed I’m a lot less confident with men now. I feel very much like I’m in a game where I’m competing against other women, worried I’ll never be enough and being very skeptical of compliments or attention from men, feeling like it isn’t me they like.. It could be any female with the right parts put in front of them at the right time. In regards to sex, I feel closed off and very hesitant about being sexually vulnerable lest I end up feeling foolish for having trusted that man with my body. While I haven’t met anyone I’d want a serious relationship with again yet, I worry that when I do I will be seeking proof and reassurance which isn’t fair to an honest person and a fresh relationship.
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