What Do Women Really Find Attractive and Appealing About Men?

 Excerpted from Women, Sex and Dating for the Single Man

Throughout this book I will be using the word "appealing" much more than the word "attractive," because over the long run it's the appeal from a man that many women turn to. There's a big difference between being attractive and being appealing. Tom Cruise is attractive; Michael J. Fox is attractive…but mostly he is appealing. When a man is appealing, it means he is interesting, charming, alluring, and he has a great personality and a sense of humor. His attractiveness comes from within. That in turn makes him appealing. A lot of times it seems that very attractive people aren't as appealing as the average or below-average looking people. It's as if the good-looking people have relied on their looks so much throughout their lives that they can't concentrate on their inner beauty. Looks can take anyone so far, but the appeal lasts much, much longer. Here is where you will know that in the long run it's the appeal of a man that is more important to many (not all) women. Yes, I know, first impressions mean a lot, but what happens after that person gets to know you?

I'm always amazed when I see all those so-called surveys done on women on what they think makes a man more attractive. You've probably seen them in mail-order books. To me this is nothing but a waste of time because all women are different. One of the survey questions is something along theses lines: What is the first thing you notice about a man? Well the answers can vary from woman to woman. And their answers aren't necessarily written in stone either. Overtime their answers can change, and it usually does. One day she may like long hair on a man, the next day it's short hair. Women in their teens throughout their early thirties are more concerned about a man's looks, but after a certain age they are more inclined to be attracted to his inner beauty more. Some women think that it's the eyes they first notice about a man. It could be his height, or his hands and arms. Every woman is different with her tastes in men. What you will be reading in this chapter was not done by a survey but by the majority of women on what they like. Their typical response. THAT'S WHAT MATTERS.

Men and women are definitely different when it comes to judging people by the way they look, and especially what they want in a mate. Men are always concerned with looks first. It's those damn hormones again. Women are different, well, some of them, anyway. True, they still judge him by his looks, but some (NOT ALL) of them don't take it as far as the men do. Some women are much more lenient in this area. If they get to know him more, he then become more appealing to them. That is, if he is a genuinely nice guy who knows how to treat a lady, and he has a personality and a sense of humor.

The average-looking or homely men who have a good sense of humor, are sincere, nice, thoughtful, knows how to dress and can hold a good conversation can still be a step ahead of even the good-looking men who don't have those qualities. For some women there has to be more to him than just his good looks, especially if she wants a lifetime mate. There are more women out there than you think who judges a man by more than just what he looks like. Keeping in mind that she will still judge him in the beginning by the way he looks. First impressions, remember? It's after some time has passed when she is attracted to him by more than just that. That's the difference between a shallow woman and the one who isn't. If you have more to offer, inner beauty, make sure she sees it. Even if you approach her for the first time at the, God for bid, produce section at the grocery store! Show her that you just might be worth her time to get to know a little better. She may be one of those who look more for what's in a man than anything else. More on this later.

Now, the younger a woman is, the more she is going to be with him just because of the way he looks. She will judge a man too much by his looks, instead of what is inside him. It's only when she gets older does she realize that there is more to a man than just his looks. If you want to date very attractive women, a good idea is to ask them when they are in their late thirties, and beyond. The odds will then increase in your favor. Many still have their attractive looks at that age. Even men who approach their middle age begin to look more for what is inside a woman. A lot of plain-looking men hear about how attractive women wants a man to be sensitive, listens to them and who is kind and sweet, but whenever they ask these women out, they say no. Well part of the problem is that the semen approach these women when they are still in their twenties, thus stacking the deck against them. Also, only about one out of, say, twenty women really meant hat. The odds for plain-looking men improve the older an attractive woman gets. Even a beautiful woman's attitude and tastes in men changes overtime. Not all of them mind you, but more than you may think. Just like any other woman, she too looks more for the man who has a personality, one who is caring and thoughtful towards her needs. Yes, there has to be some physical attraction there, but it's not as important as it was when she was younger. Even though most women, whether she is very attractive or not, want that handsome man, there are still many who have said that if he isn't caring, thoughtful, and he doesn't have a personality, what's the point? Only the shallow women think different. She wants to show him off. That seems to be more important to her than anything else. She can be in her fifties and still be alone, and yet she will still want that handsome man, and it doesn't matter if all he has going for him is his looks. Shallow women… they are in a class of their very own. Who needs 'em!

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