So Over You
Some of it has to do with how serious the intentions of the online dater are, but this you should be able to spot from their profile and the effort they put in to talk to you. For example if someone on Eharmony does not handpick at least one of the three questions or just does the click on multiple choice answers they are either using their preselected windows saved text box fill in from last time or they are just not all that interested in YOU. So I do agree with Stacy here.
You can pretty easily spot the new person, they might go on one or two online dates and give up if they have a bad experience… it may have nothing at all to do with you, perhaps their last two in person dates were TOTAL duds because they don’t know how to screen yet, so they have little tolerance for imperfection or will cancel for trivial reasons.
I think there are people who are looking to date on all the sites and I don’t think it has anything to do with paid or not. I think how desirable you are to the datee may also have something to do with this, if you are perceived as more desirable than other dates you are less likely to be cancelled on, but the key is relative desirablity… this makes it more of a popularity contest really so I wouldn’t let online dating be a measure of your actual compatibility with potential dates, which is why real world dating… eg going to a bar, speed dating, going outside, going to the store, any way of meeting actual people is a far quicker way to determine if you have actual chemistry with someone… but in real world you can leave the screening… divorcee, smoker, uneducated, kids, etc for later and just enjoy the moment first. The problem with the real world chemistry approach first is that you may also be cancelled on AFTER you meet them… eg, I think with online dating, if there is mutual attraction, there is a higher likelihood that a relationship will develop after one meeting, eg there is a higher convert rate to appropriate and suitable relationships from meetings..
SO, in conclusion, the theory is that if you screen well and put in effort and look for others who do as well, you should rather quickly within the space of about maybe 10 to 20 dates find a relationship with some cancellations, but cancellations are part of the game, just like the guy or girl who doesn’t call back after meeting at the bar.
sorry, that was Stacey… oh yes, and I think POF is a good way to meet Europeans and foreigners. I wouldn’t write that site off completely as opposed to Vox. However I think there is a big element of people who are in Disney fantasy land on that site. I think personally people on Match have ridiculously high expectations and the site attracts a more superficial crowd, I think it is because they do use promoters, publicists and they do use models to make profiles, just like the clubs, even if they say they don’t. So there is likely a high fade rate because of that. I swear that the Dan Brown book series became popular in part because of mentions on match.com, I mean do you remember there was a phase when EVERYONE had that in their profiile, it was like on every third profile…now it’s that crazy Eat Pray Love mantra yoga Italian nonsense.
You can pretty easily spot the new person, they might go on one or two online dates and give up if they have a bad experience… it may have nothing at all to do with you, perhaps their last two in person dates were TOTAL duds because they don’t know how to screen yet, so they have little tolerance for imperfection or will cancel for trivial reasons.
I think there are people who are looking to date on all the sites and I don’t think it has anything to do with paid or not. I think how desirable you are to the datee may also have something to do with this, if you are perceived as more desirable than other dates you are less likely to be cancelled on, but the key is relative desirablity… this makes it more of a popularity contest really so I wouldn’t let online dating be a measure of your actual compatibility with potential dates, which is why real world dating… eg going to a bar, speed dating, going outside, going to the store, any way of meeting actual people is a far quicker way to determine if you have actual chemistry with someone… but in real world you can leave the screening… divorcee, smoker, uneducated, kids, etc for later and just enjoy the moment first. The problem with the real world chemistry approach first is that you may also be cancelled on AFTER you meet them… eg, I think with online dating, if there is mutual attraction, there is a higher likelihood that a relationship will develop after one meeting, eg there is a higher convert rate to appropriate and suitable relationships from meetings..
SO, in conclusion, the theory is that if you screen well and put in effort and look for others who do as well, you should rather quickly within the space of about maybe 10 to 20 dates find a relationship with some cancellations, but cancellations are part of the game, just like the guy or girl who doesn’t call back after meeting at the bar.
sorry, that was Stacey… oh yes, and I think POF is a good way to meet Europeans and foreigners. I wouldn’t write that site off completely as opposed to Vox. However I think there is a big element of people who are in Disney fantasy land on that site. I think personally people on Match have ridiculously high expectations and the site attracts a more superficial crowd, I think it is because they do use promoters, publicists and they do use models to make profiles, just like the clubs, even if they say they don’t. So there is likely a high fade rate because of that. I swear that the Dan Brown book series became popular in part because of mentions on match.com, I mean do you remember there was a phase when EVERYONE had that in their profiile, it was like on every third profile…now it’s that crazy Eat Pray Love mantra yoga Italian nonsense.
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