How to Avoid the Slovenian Women
Add me to the list of
lost4evers…..Memorial Day was the 3 year Anniversary of my discovery. Hers was
supposedly only 6 months, but her lies never end so who knows. I wrote on here
about two weeks ago how I struggle to buy her Birthday cards or gifts. The cards
are now generic happy birthday instead of the wife cards you see in most
stores. Valentines day isn’t even a discussion, nor is a mothers day card. How
do you truthfully hand someone a card proclaiming the excelent job they did in
rasing our kids when she was the worst example possible. I have kept my mouth
shut to her family and mine….but I have lost any feelings and desire to spend
extra time with her. Its just a matter of time, and I will move on, she can
deal alone with the fallout with her family.
I know exactly how you
feel, I am 2 years 4 months post D-day and I feel the same way. I no longer
love him like I used to. I do not enjoy being intimate with him. The only
difference is my CS’s affair lasted 4 1/2 years, so there was even more time for
him & her to cause damage, damage that can never be repaired. My CS is also
doing a lot of things to try and repair the damage but it’s just not enough. I
have tried so hard, but I too am discouraged. I just wanted you to know that
you are not alone, there are others like me who are in the same boat.
This post would be
very helpful to married couples that are not dealing with infidelity. But, I
have to say that after two and a half years from D day, I have no interest in
trying to get to know my husband better. I still have trouble looking at him
after knowing he had a two year affair. Sex with him will never feel the same
to me again. In fact, I don’t even enjoy it. I keep trying, but my heart is
just not into it anymore. I find that I am not even attracted to him anymore.
He has been and continues to try to be a good husband and make me happy, but my
feelings for him have changed. Since it’s been two years and nine months now, I
have lost hope that our marriage will survive all the damage he has done. We
both love our children very much and still do many family things together, but
nothing that is the same for me. Feeling very discouraged these days!!
I am a very verbal
person. I dont raise my voice but I always made my husband aware of how I was
feeling. Happy, upset, disappointed, lonely etc. He never really ever said how
he felt. He would just sorta say ok and move on. Never would he tell me how he
felt or what he thought. He would just say hes not good with words. Anyhow,
just found out hes been having an affair for 6months and when I asked why he
said just lots of little things. When he started to FINALLY tell me, I realised
that if he had of ever spoken up at the time theses “little things” were
happening then perhaps him having an affair would not have happened? He is from
a family where his opinion never counted whilst growing up so perhaps it really
isnt easy for everyone to just say how they feel. I do believe though that
hearing negatives gives you a choice in a relationship. If you love the person
and what they are telling you upsets you, you can help to stop or change the
emotion or walk away if your not invested. Either way, staying quiet is never
good. In the long run, trying to only say positive things or nothing at all can
be very negative and damaging to a relationship. Speak up. If your loved, then
your emotions and thoughts are worthwhile
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