He Went for Her AND Her Friend?!
Jen and her friend kinda-sorta liked the same guy. And guess what…he kinda-sorta groped them both! Huzzah! Oh…wait…huh? Yep. He got the vibe off of both of them, and decided to play mixed doubles all by himself. Or…singles vs. doubles. I don’t know tennis. I also know neither karate nor kuh-ray-zee. But no worries — there’s nothing confusing about this. Lemme splain…
Dear Manslator, this time I am utterly confused. And then they say WOMEN are confusing. Yeah,right.
So the story goes…Me and a very good friend have met a new group of people this year and hang out with them frequently. We discovered after a while that we both - hm, let’s say, “had a thing” for one guy. It’s not like we’re in love with this guy, right? So we were both like, alright buddy, fair game, if he shows any interest in one of us that one is free to go ahead with it. We are that close friends, and certainly not willing to let a friggin guy come between us.
And there you see the difference between men and women. When two men like the same woman, we want the other one to fall out of a window. And into in a car fire. Even if it’s our best friend. Well, unless we REALLY don’t give a crap about the girl, I suppose. http://uslugi.rtyva.ru/web/okcupid
Shortly after the guy starts flirting with my friend. She was a bit confused about whether he just wanted to set up a bootycall or would actually like a relationship, but the point is, he was flirting with her.
And your friend was right to be confused on that point, because as we all know, flirting does not tell you ANYthing about whether or not it’s a booty call.
Then the other week we were all out at a pub, and he sits next to me. Starts flirting with ME. Touching and all. I am a bit tipsy by this time, and let him play around. Then in the middle of the night he changes his seat so that he’s in the middle, right between me and my friend, and we discovered that he went ahead with BOTH of us at the same time.
Needless to say we do feel like complete idiots.
No, that’s actually needful to say. Er…you needed to…oh hell, I don’t know. What I’m getting at is, neither of you acted like a complete idiot here. Or even a partial.
It’s a smart guy and I give him the credit. Now I just want to know one thing: What was he thinking???
Very little.
He knows we’re good friends, obviously we’re going to find out. If he wanted to go ahead with just one person he would have had a good chance…Just what goes through a guy’s mind, sitting there caressing two buddies at once?
Dear Jen,
To answer your very last question…er…yippee? Yahoo?
Seriously, this is a very, very simple manslation: He was attracted to both of you sexually, and not very interested in dating either one. Ergo, why not have a little fun? Or a LOT of fun? How about, as much fun as you two would let him?
BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU TWO ARE GOING TO FIND OUT!
Yeah, but who cares? Not him. In this situation, he was not doing anything calculated. His brain was not likely running on full wattage to do such calculating. A man’s SexBrain and his EverythingElseBrain are running off of the same battery, ok? If one of them is working, the other one takes a serious performance hit, and may not function at peak levels.
Besides, you mentioned http://rsfgt.ru/web/okcupid/home/ that this was at a pub. You were tipsy, he probably was as well. Booze is a great facilitator of SexBrain taking over some of the duties that EverythingElseBrain should really be in charge of. (deciding who to call on the phone, who to hug and tell “I love you man”, who to grope and whose friend to grope at the same time, etc.)
So here’s what I’d say, Jen. If either of you feels like a roll in the hay with this guy, knock yourself out. (Not literally, of course. Beating yourself unconscious with a hammer won’t do anyone any good.) If you BOTH do, he won’t mind. If you both do at the same time, he might pass out. But if either of you is interested in anything more than your basic romp, I’d say you’re likely out of luck. If he liked either of you in that way, he wouldn’t have been pre-diddling you both while sitting between you.
Ever been in one o’ these sitch-ee-ay-shuns, ladies? How’d the three of you resolve it? (In detail, please.)
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