When He Says You Could Do Better


Riley’s ex is something of a bad boy. No job. Bit of a partier (including the Devil’s Dandruff itself, cocaine.) He says all kinds of nice things, but then says that he thinks that SHE could do better. Is that ever the truth? I’ll answer in a minute. (Hint: The answer is no. Crap. That was way too easy a hint.)
so first the ex-boyfriend stats:
-got laid off and hasnt had job for almost year now
-takes care of sick family member and its tough on him
-has other family issues (dad leaving)
-parties a ton! (even coke)
Translation needed: says he loves me and cares about me and i am best thing that ever happened to him…but when it comes down to it he thinks i can do better because he has a lot going on and i deserve better than him..blah blah…and he knows i dont like the partying thing which was my only issue ever with him aka i never nagged him about a job, etc etc.
so..is this BS? or do guys really ever think someone is too good for them (at this time in life) and they would rather have the girl they love walk out instead of work hard on all their issues to keep the girl around?
thanks!!
Dear Riley,
In a word…not really. Ok, that’s two words. But that’s the gist of it. Let me explain with a little dating quiz:
What do the following break-up phrases all have in common?
  • It’s not you, it’s me.
  • You’re too good for me.
  • I just think you could do better than me.
  • I’m not a good boyfriend.
  • I’m just not ready.
Aaaaand, go! (cue Jeopardy music.)
Ok, everybody put your number two pencils down. Ready for the answer?
ANSWER: They’re all nicer than the truth, which is the fact that he doesn’t want to date you.
Your guy says you can do better. Why does he say that? Well, it’s because he has no intention of BEING better. It’s like the, “Look, I’m just not a good boyfriend.” What that means is, “I have no plans to be a good boyfriend. I might even have plans to be a BAD one, so don’t expect me to change.
WOULD HE LET THE GIRL HE LOVES WALK OUT THE DOOR?
The answer to that one is just as simple: Not if it’s the kind of love you want to be in business with. I mean, sure, an addict will let any number of people they love walk away from them to avoid giving up their habits. But you know, the truth is that however much they love those people…in that moment, they love their addiction more.
Now, I’m not saying your guy is an addict. Who knows about that? What I’m saying is, when a guy tells you that you could do better, TRUST THAT MAN. He is exactly right.
Good luck, Riley!
Ladies?? Ever known a man to really let the woman he loves walk out the door? Really?

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