Hetero Women and Gay Men: A New Dating Trend
A woman I met at a party told me that she has been dating a wonderful
man and is very happy with the relationship.
They go to theatre, movies, great restaurants, important work
events, play tennis, and enjoy the same activities. The only disagreement they
may have is over which play to see or where to have dinner. They enjoy each
other’s company. It is a perfectly fun relationship with one proviso; there is no
sex.
Her man is
gay. She told me:
“I came out of a horribly bad relationship. After I took the time
to allow myself to heal for a few months, I decided to do all the things I
loved but never did in my old relationship. The man I had been with had no
interests in what I liked. I wanted a change.
Even though it’s perfectly alright to do so, I didn’t want to go
to events or even dinner alone. So I was looking for someone but no commitment
needed; just fun. I met David at a work meeting. He was from another office and
we hadn’t seen each other before. We went out for lunch and found that we have
the same tastes and interests. He’s bright, good-looking, articulate, and has a
great job. I told him I wasn’t looking for a relationship, just good
companionship and no sex. He laughed and said that was fine with him; he is a
gay man. It’s a perfect relationship in every way.”
As wonderful as sex is, sometimes it can get in the way of a
good relationship. Having a companion who is interested in what you like, who
has the same tastes as you do, and is fun to be with is a plus. Many women are
dating gay men because the pluses of friendship and companionship outweigh the
minuses of not having a sexual relationship.
Popular shows
and movies have made having a gay man as a companion very commonplace. Who
doesn’t want to go out with someone who looks good, dresses well, and listens
to you in the same way your girl-friends do, sometimes even better since he can
give you a male perspective on a problem? He’s a man, you’re a woman, and you
enjoy each other’s company.
But besides
all that we share in interests and lifestyle with gay men, there is another
reason why straight women and gay men make such great couples: it’s in the
brain’s wiring.
The brains of gay men share similar characteristics to those of
the opposite sex, a new study says. Researchers found the brain's physical
structure and size as well as the strength of neural connections among gay men
and hetero woman to be remarkably similar. The area of the brain that processes
emotions also looked much the same in gay men and straight women -- and both
groups have higher rates of depressive disorders than heterosexual men or
lesbians, researchers said. No wonder we have a lot in common!
Of course the
subject and the need for sexual activity and satisfaction may, at one point,
come up. If either of you find someone who strikes your dormant libido and who wants
a traditional partnership, what then? Does this mean the end of a “beautiful
relationship” for the two of you? It doesn’t have to mean that at all.
“If either one of us finds someone with whom we want to have a
commitment, and that commitment involves sex, that’s fine with us. We will
still be together the same way we always have. Having a companion of the
opposite sex who is gay is having a good friend. We have discussed this and we
both agree that our friendship is too important for us to lose. We would
continue going out to functions and activities we both love.”
The trend for
hetero women to date gay men is becoming a staple in the lives of many women
and why not?
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