Dropping the “L” Bomb
There are many times that are scary in a relationship. Like the time you are in a fight and you wonder if the relationship will survive it. The time when someone really hurts you and you wonder if you can move past it. And the time you know you are in love but you are afraid to be the first one to say it.
As I wrote about in my previous blog, “What is Your Body Telling You?“, I spoke about how I was scared to reveal my emotions towards this man in my life because I was afraid of what the outcome might be. That he may not return the sentiment or even worse would run. After too much time, holding back such feelings was starting to weigh on me. So I decided to take the plunge.
My first thought I was going to approach the conversation telling him that “I loved him, but I couldn’t see him anymore.” After a while, and some sound advice from a friend, I knew this was crazy. And actually quite unfair to him. If I took this approach I am essentially shocking him with one message…to then immediately shock him with the second. I wouldn’t be giving him an opportunity to even respond.
And the entire purpose of me saying to him that I couldn’t see him anymore was purely a protective device against him breaking my heart. That is who I am, “Miss Independent” who will try to control every situation especially when my heart is on the line.
So after much thought on the subject, I decided to approach it with love. Just love. And not make the assumption that he couldn’t handle it and would run. You see, this is a man where we set up very early on that we would “keep things light” with no attachments. So I had a very obvious reason to be afraid. And why would I want to mess up things by saying such words, we had a really good thing. Awesome in fact.
But I knew I couldn’t continue on not sharing my feelings. It was not only unfair to him, but more so, unfair to me. As I quoted from Shakespeare: “To thine own self be true.”
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