Not Being Frank


Yesterday afternoon, my son was playing with his classmate. The classmate is known to be problematic at kindy with his refusal to do writing and other normal schoolwork in class. Even both his mother and grandmother complained to me that it is so difficult getting him to do his homework because he just doesn’t want to write. Furthermore, he doesn’t like to socialize with other kids his age unless led to do so by adults.

Anyway, after a while of playing, the classmate suddenly exhibits a kind of uncontrollable behavior and started scratching at my son. It is actually a first time that I see a 4+ child does that. My own instinct is this is not normal behavior of an average kid. At 4, kids usually don’t bite and show aggressive behaviors anymore, although I may be wrong since I’m no expert.

It is times like this that you wonder if you should open your mouth and tell the mother that her son requires professional evaluation by child experts. After all, you may be wrong and you may end up alarming the parents unnecessarily. And some parents also do not like to hear the negative things that others have say about their kids.

So, I just kept quiet although I do pity the child in a way. The fact that he is having problems at school is a manifestation of some kind of learning disability and the longer you wait before you seek help, the harder it is down the road to correct the problem. Moreover, by then, other kids his age would already be far ahead in terms of development. You would think that the earlier you intervene, if there is indeed a problem, the better it is for both the parents and the child.



I guess as parents, sometimes, we just want to believe that there is nothing seriously wrong with our child and that he will grow out of it. And it will take an outsider to give an honest opinion about our own child. That is why, in a way, I do wonder whether I did the right thing yesterday by keeping quiet.

For instance in college I didn’t want to get into any serious relationships with anyone because I wanted to focus on my work, plus i worked a part-time job while in school and I wasn’t from NC where I went to college and knew I was going back to Philly where I’m from. I didn’t want to live in NC and didn’t want to put any man in a situation where he had to choose and leave his hometown if he didn’t want to just to be with me so I figured it was better just to have “casual relations” Plus I didn’t want to be settled down and definitely wasn’t ready for marriage and kids in college.
I told the guy I dated this from the beginning and never spent too much time with him and tried not to go on any dates with him. In the beginning everything was cool….after while he got attached and caught feelings and used to hide my underwear so I wouldn’t leave. It was then that I cut him off completely because it was obvious he couldn’t handle it….(those southern gents …gotta love em) lol.
At any rate many times it’s like this except it’s the woman usually who catches feelings……but hey thats life….people change their minds almost constantly.

Sometimes it’s that people go into a situation not knowing what they really want until they are in it…..and even then they may not learn what they want…but they find out what they don’t want.
I think too often we women overanalyze things with men waaaaaaaaay too much.
I think sometimes people simply do things because thats how they feel at that time and simply because they can. No other complicated reasons beyond that.

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