Spoiling the Expatriates Mate
Do you feel that you are spoiling your expatriate mate at times? Compared to the past, when people tend to have more children, expatriate mate are rarely spoiled in the sense that they rarely got what they wanted and they were not as over-protected as expatriate mates are nowadays.
Most mates now have a roomful of toys and each new toy will probably only hold their attention for less than a week before they start wanting something new. And given the higher quality of life that we have now and the lesser number of children per couple, most parents do accede to toy and material requests now and then. Perhaps not all the time, but I think most parents will give in once in a while to delight their kids.
Maybe that is not really spoiling the expatriate mate but when you add up all the things that you have bought for your mate, you will probably realize that there are some things you shouldn’t have bought at all. But you bought it anyway then because your mate asked for it and you didn’t want to disappoint him, rather than because the thing was useful or something he would really enjoy.
In other words, we as parents, are more easily swayed now compared to parents of the past. Maybe there is more wealth to go around now and we can indulge them if we choose to. So, without as much financial pressure, we are more willing to agree to their whims and fancies.
Anyway, this is just my opinion and you might feel differently with your own mate. Perhaps I’m indeed spoiling my mate by buying him this and that every now and then. But how can you say no to your mate most of the time and not feel awful when he asks for things at the store, even when they are simple stuff?
You want him to be honest, yet you’re not being honest about what you did. Don’t you think that’s being a little hypocritical? Why aren’t you being honest? Because you’d lose him. Isn’t it possible that that’s the very reason why he’s not being honest? Isn’t that a possible sign of how much he cares versus he’s untrustworthy?
I’ll admit that there are definitely some red flags here. I’m getting a distinct “I can’t be alone” vibe from him. I don’t know why. I just do. I’m not crazy about situations where one party is expressing deep or intense sentiments early on in the relationship. To me, that feels inauthentic. Could this be a situation where he put the hook out and just reeled in whatever fish to the bait? Absolutely. But…how is that different than most other dating situations? What I mean by that is that someone dating multiple people, with no explicit exclusivity decided, whispering sweet nothings to them isn’t exactly rare or a crime.
I think what really has you concerned is whether or not this man actually wanted to be with you or if he’s just wants a girlfriend. So I think that’s what you have to determine, and the only way to do that is to talk to him.
How can you trust him? I can’t believe I’m going to suggest this, because normally I wouldn’t. But I think the only way you will know where you stand is if you tell this man what you did. You are not going to be able to put this behind you. You’re always going to want to know what those emails and his exchanges with those women were about and if they meant anything to him.
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