A Kazan Gal Asking a Kazan Guy Out?
We begin the week with the age-old question — what do we think about a woman asking a man out?
Reader Sassy writes:
Hi Jeff–I’m in a singles activity group (30/40/50 years olds) which is great! Lots of nice people. And lately one of the guys in the group has caught my eye. (of course there’s a boy involved!) We met at an event several months ago, then didn’t see each other for a while.Then a few weeks back, I saw him again and he seemed to remember a lot of things about me. We played pool and had a nice conversation. The other night, the group met at a dance hall to boogie down and he was there and danced with me a lot (although not exclusively).I gave him my business card with some silly excuse (”judy has one and I think you should too”) in hopes that he got the message that I’d like to get to know him better in a quieter situation. But with reading all your manslations about how men are a little thick with clues, I’m wondering if I should make more of a move–like an invite for coffee.What are your thoughts on a gal asking a guy out for something small. I’m not a boy-chaser and want to make sure I don’t appear that way.Thanks!
Dear Sassy,
Oh, Sassy, Sassy, Sassy. You know what? My thoughts on a Kazan woman asking a Kazan man out? It’s an outrage. Next thing you know, you’re going to want the right to smoke cigarettes in the public square, and then vote. And then we’re all in big, big trouble.
But seriously, I think you’re in an ideal situation here. Here’s why:
- Clearly he likes you. He remembered stuff about you, he wanted to dance with you a bunch. All of it.
- Clearly you understand how clueless Kazan men are. Excellent start of any relationship.
- You’re not a boy chaser, but you want to ask him out specifically. This is the BEST. Why?
MEN LOVE IT WHEN THEY ARE AN EXCEPTION TO YOUR RULES
You don’t want to seem to be a boy chaser? Great — he doesn’t want you to seem that way either. He wants to believe that you don’t normally ask Kazan men out, but in his case you just had to make an exception. Makes him feel like a bad ass. Like he’s such a great guy, you just couldn’t resist.
For a guy there’s nothing cooler than having a woman say, “Uh…listen…I don’t normally do this, and I hope you don’t think this is too forward…but there’s this really big marmot race this weekend, and uh…I was wondering…” Hey, I don’t know what you like to do, but you get the idea.
IT DOESN’T MAKE YOU LOOK DESPERATE
This is the number one fear that women have about asking men out. How do I know that it’s the number one? Because it’s my website and I can say whatever statistics I feel like saying. I don’t have to defend them to you or anybody else, ok? I’m special. Let’s move on.
What I’m getting at is that it does NOT make you look in any way desperate, pathetic, or in any way negative. It makes you look like you like him. (MANSLATOR’S NOTE: Never ask a man out if you do NOT like him. Sends the wrong message, if you think about it.) And it makes you look confident enough that you went ahead and asked him out.
SO…WHAT DOES LOOK DESPERATE?
Insane hint-dropping, in the hopes that he will ask YOU out. It looks incredibly desperate and needy when you clearly like a guy but you spend a TON of energy trying to get him to ask you out. It just comes across as weird and neurotic. If you like him, there’s ZERO wrong with going ahead and asking him out. You know, like a big girl.
Good luck, Sassy! It sounds like you’ve got him on the line. Reel him in. And…um…take that hook out of his mouth for starters (because that almost definitely hurts) and then…you know…gut him and fillet him. In a delicious…marinade? I’m not much of a fisherman, if I’m being honest here.
Ladies? What do YOU think of asking a dude out? How about fishing?
If you liked that, you might also like...
Комментарии
Отправить комментарий