Approaching A Girl Is Like A Pitch

When most guys go out to meet women, they’re seeing each approach as a complete 162-game baseball season in-and-of-itself. For example, if the guy is intimidated by a woman’s beauty so much to the point where he simply doesn’t approach her, he might be thinking something like “She’s outta my league!” Or maybe, “There’s always next year… Once my Game is good enough I’ll be able to talk to girls like that!” Or maybe even, “It’s not fair that I don’t have the advantages that my rich and well-connected friend from The Bronx has when it comes to meeting women!”

That’s not where any guy wants to be.

Yet some guys have the experience and perception to “zoom in” and see a single approach as a single at-bat. A batter in the starting line-up will probably see somewhere between 3-6 at-bats over the course of the game. Likewise, on an average night out at the bar, a guy with this frame of reference might talk to somewhere between 3-10 women.

· “Aw man! I struck out with that girl!”

· “I got to first (second / third base) with her!”

· “OMG OMG I s-s-s-s-s-scored!”

Success inevitably follows when guys are getting up, getting out, taking some action and meeting more women than they were before.

Yet when we “zoom in” even further, we see a single approach not even as an at-bat, but as a single pitch: one approach equals one pitch. Assuming 3.75 pitches per at-bat, that’s anywhere between 10-30 pitches seen per game. This is much closer to the level of massive action combined with the mindset we recommend for guys in major world cities with high pedestrian traffic – man up and talk to at least 30 women a day.

When approaching some women, they’ll simply ignores the guy (equivalent to a strike, perhaps). Other approaches, they might be warm and friendly, but reply that they have a boyfriend (equivalent to a ball, maybe). Sometimes she’ll give you a number (single!), or she might even happily suggest the two of you spend more quality time together alone right there and then (home run?!). Each approach doesn’t carry as much emotional weight as if it were a full at-bat. Just as a foul ball hit hard might be a good sign for the batter (as he has the pitcher’s number), “striking out” with a girl can be good in some contexts (like asking for a number and getting “turned down” by a wack-job).

More importantly, each pitch is a chance for the batter to make minor adjustments to his stance, his tactics, his swing, his footing, his read on the pitcher, his visualization, his bat speed, the wind, the position of the sun, and a thousand other tiny variables that come into play from pitch to pitch.

Likewise, when each approach is a new chance for us to adjust our voice tonality, our posture, our smile, straighten our tie, relax our shoulders, or work on one of a thousand other tiny variables that come into play from approach to approach.

“That one blew right by me! …I think it’s because she didn’t hear me. Gotta make sure to greet her loudly and clearly.”

“I swung too early. Be patient – don’t get ahead of yourself. Remember to make her laugh first before asking for the phone number.”

“Got tense up and started moving my hands too much. Remain grounded and relaxed while conversing with her.”

“I hit it off with her really well, but it went foul somewhere. I think my approach is in order for the most part, but I need to work on my improv comedy skills to get more girls laughing.”

When we approach A LOT of women and see each one as merely a pitch, we progress quickly in the process of meeting women efficiently and effectively. Not only do make adjustments between every approach, we also get massive mileage from the concept of isolating only one aspect of our “practice” per day and focusing on that.

For example, “Today I’m going to spend less than 2 minutes downtime between women talked to. Next day, I’m going to stop, take a breath, fix my posture, relax and smile after every woman I talk to. Day after that, I’m going to focus on voice projection and speaking clearly.”

There you have it. Step up to the plate and start seeing every woman you approach not as a full season, not even as a full at-bat, but just as single pitches. Takes out a lot of the pressure and strain while making it easier to improve and adjust after each approach.

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Approaching A Girl Is Like A Pitch

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