Dating Coach For Lovers

Here’s one of those situations where some French women seem to get themselves a little turned around in the feelings department. What’s that you say? WOMEN confused at the feelings thing? I thought that it was MEN who weren’t up on the whole feelings dealie. Well, sure. But sometimes women are SO in touch with their feelings that they start believing that they exist outside of, you know, themselves. Racquel’s dating a player. She knew it before they started, but now she likes him, and she’s wondering if he’s playing her. Er…I’m not totally sure why she’s confused. But I think I get it now. Hold on, let’s get the real story first: Hey! So I went on two dates  with a player for giggles, but my original intent of fun turned to liking him recently. After two dates, meeting his friends,he even introduced me as his girlfriend!and constant texting, we haven’t spoken in TWO DAYS. I’m not the type to let this bother me, but it is. -Soo is the player playing me? or am I looki...

Here’s one of the truly evergreen topics — how to magically turn a booty call into a more-than-booty-call. And almost exclusively, the answer is that you’re more likely to pull off the whole water-into-wine thing, which from what I’ve read ( i.e. zero ) was kind of a special situation you’re unlikely to be in. And it’s still that unlikely in the situation we’re going to see here, in that you can never MAKE this change happen — it either happens or it doesn’t. But these things do change on their own sometimes. And a reader ingeniously named PornQueen thinks she might be in one of those. She wants to see if there’s more…but doesn’t want to lose the booty. Can she do it? Could be. Let’s get the deets. Is it possible to go from Booty Call status to more? I’ve never been the type to not speak my mind.  Most of the time, I blurt it out and go on with my life (notice how I just ask the question above without any preamble…). Yeah, I haven’t really enjoyed many preambles. The...

Guest Post:  Flirtexting: How to Text Your Way into his Heart  is a popular dating guide that spells out the rules, the guidelines and the do’s and don’ts of the dating phenomenon of flirting over text message. “We date, therefore we text,” was Debra Goldstein and Olivia Baniuszewicz’s motto and inspiration for writing  Loveawake . Once guys stopped calling and started courting them over text, they decided to equip themselves, their friends, and the greater cell carrying public, with the tools to cleverly respond to get what they want. Guy : Drinks Wednesday night? Girl : Sorry, I can’t. I’ve got a work thing. Subtext : Girl doesn’t like guy. If she did, she would have suggested a day when she was available to reschedule. The subtext is what we  really  mean by what we text. Texting can leave a lot up to misinterpretation, so it’s important that flirtexters are able to read subtext to understand what those 160 characters...

Seems like we’ve got a guy who’s squirming his way out of Mindy’s life, except when he’s feeling low/vulnerable/sick/drunk. What, oh what, could he possibly want? Well, the trick there is to see what he’s getting. Lemme splain. This guy I’ve been seeing; dating 4-5 weekends with me and then tells me with his schedule so busy its not feasible. But still wants to talk and see each other whenever possible. He sends me text messages when he’s sick, drunk, or had a bad week/day wanting to see me (1/2 those times we didn’t have sex. So I’m confused). What does he want from me? Dear Mindy, Ok, let’s break down what happened with you guys based upon what HE received: STEP ONE: TAKING A WHACK AT IT Sounds like you guys had a little booty, a few weeks of fun. He gave the standard reply when the relationship train is pulling out of the station. Basically, what the “scheduling complaint” really means is, “ Don’t count me doing anything I don’t feel like doing. ” Let’s face it, n...

We’ve got a young’un here, folks. A young lady named Melissa has some prom issues, and wants to know what her guy’s all about. I think he’s wondering the same thing about HER, myself. Let’s take a look: What does it mean when a guy says “I really like you” and also about a prom: :”I knew I was going to go but I didn’t know with whom.. who would’ve thought i would end up going with you” and “Who would you go with if I wasn’t here”? Dear Melissa, Honestly, it sounds like he  likes you. From what I can tell, he’s trying to get more information from YOU. Let’s break down what he said: I REALLY LIKE YOU You know, when a high school guy goes ahead and says THIS, it’s usually pretty much on the button. I mean, this is not an easy thing to say at any age. In high school, I could barely say that I liked a MEAL, let alone a girl. No reason to doubt this one. WHO’D HAVE THUNK IT’D BE YOU AND ME!? This one sounds like a little bit of insurance. He’s trying to sound like he’...

A reader named Tatum broke up with her ex about a year ago. And a funny thing started happening a few months ago. Not funny ha-ha, per se. Or funny strange, really. But it happened, though. Oh, it happened. Ahem. One of her ex’s best friends started texting. As “friends.” What is this all about? Well, let’s get started. I’ve got one eyebrow raised, Spock-style, in anticipation of something…”fascinating.” Hi Jeff. First of all, I love your book. All those situations are funny because they’re true. Second, I’ll start by saying that it’s been a year since my boyfriend of 8 months broke up with me. I’ve recovered from the drama. Well, a few months back, I received a text message from one of his best friends. It was strange because  his friends didn’t have my number. Well, he asked how I was doing, and eventually asked me out. He insisted that we’d be “just friends.” I said, “Thanks, but that’s not a good idea.” Afterward, he was saying that I could do better than my ex. Was h...

The dynamic of meeting your next date online is different than in-person. Other than the obvious — you’re greeting a screen rather than a face (at least for the moment) – there are a million other nuances when you take communicating digitally into account. The way you approach someone, the ability to search for your next match, and the journey to a first date creates an entirely different atmosphere. Because of these differences, you can’t approach web flirting with the same mindset — especially if you’re new to the digital dating space. Below are three tips to help you log on with the right perspective and avoid frustration. Throw Your Type Out the Window. If you reflect on your dating history, you’ll most likely notice trends in the personalities of your past relationships. Whatever he or she has resembled in the past, it’s time to clean your slate. Dating trends can often mean that a certain personality resonates with who you are, but since these relationships haven’t lasted...

We begin the week with the age-old question — what do we think about a woman asking a man out? Reader Sassy writes: Hi Jeff–I’m in a singles activity group (30/40/50 years olds) which is great! Lots of nice people. And lately one of the guys in the group has caught my eye. (of course there’s a boy involved!) We met at an event several months ago, then didn’t see each other for a while. Then a few weeks back, I saw him again and he seemed to remember a lot of things about me. We played pool and had a nice conversation. The other night, the group met at a dance hall to boogie down and he was there and danced with me a lot (although not exclusively). I gave him my business card with some silly excuse (”judy has one and I think you should too”) in hopes that he got the message that I’d like to get to know him better in a quieter situation. But with reading all your manslations about how men are a little thick with clues, I’m wondering if I should make more of a move–like an ...

Well, well, well. Someone’s pants are on FIRE. Whose? None other than frequent commenter and requester, Loiralei. Through deviousness and deceit, our lass has gotten herself into a really weird situation. Well, have no fear, L. I’m a really weird guy from Kazan . Loiralei writes: O.K. This time I’ve got myself in a real pickle. After my last breakup I decided to try a internet dating site free. Just for fun I created a silly, sexy profile with no picture as an experiment to get my feet wet, not sure of what I’d find and  basically to see what was out there. There were alot of responses mostly guys whose pictures looked like they were on the “Most Wanted List”. There was one guy I was attracted to, he was a member and we e-mailed back and forth for about a week. He gave me his ph # and asked me to call him and when I told him I didn’t call men first, he asked for my ph #. Feeling rushed, and not sure I was even ready to SEE anyone again yet, I gave it to him anyway an...

This one took me by surprise. I mean, look, I am well aware that we men are a little confusing. But I had no idea T HIS was even a question . A reader named Connie wants to know if men ever get heartbroken, cuz she’s never seen it happen. Well, I’m here to tell you that she might not be seeing what she thinks she’s seeing. Connie writes: Do men ever get a real “broken heart” like women do at the end of a relationship? I mean do they ever really feel a sense of loss or really miss or grieve the other person? And if they do what does it feel like, how long does it last and how does it manifest itself? I ask this because I’ve never seen men suffer like women do, they just go out and get laid or drunk or both and seem not to care about  losing that person. This happens even if THEY were the ones that said they were in love and wanted to marry that person. Also, do they feel a sense of loss for the woman if they cheated on her which actually caused the relationship to end? Par...